October 27th 2025

Hi, it has been a while oops. I'm participating in kinktober this year so most of my free time has been dedicated to that rather than the site. I'll hopefully get back into the swing of things in November (granted, I'm hoping to participate in a fic exchange soon so... ha). I had a lot I was going to talk about and then I forgot all of it... Uh, I got a killer bruise today doing laundry. Or well... not doing laundry but - I like to stay with the laundry just in case anyone wants to try taking it out while it's running to put their stuff in, but in my new place the laundry building has no chairs T_T My back kind of sucks so it hurts to stand for longer than like five minutes and the dryers take fifty lol. The floor is nasty in there though so I'm not sitting on that. Basically what I'm saying is I got the bright idea to try sitting on the machine (normally I wouldn't do something like this but god my back hurt T_T) but I went at it at a terrible angle and only managed to injure myself. Oops T_T I seem to be very accident prone lately. I also burnt my finger while cooking lol. I'm fine in both cases though and I didn't damage the machine so it's all good. Uh what else is going on... I went home for the reading break and I forgot my Supernatural DVD there T_T I haven't really had any time to watch anyways though wahh Welcome to Derry aired... today? Was it today.. I'm not sure. Or uh. Yesterday I guess. I'm writing at 12:30 in the morning lol. I've been wanting to get into seasonal anime but it feels like such a big commitment compared to like... keeping up with weekly comics IDK. I'm bad at watching things TBH. Oh. I did want to say, the other day I was walking to class and walked by a pop-up used book sale at my school. I picked up five books for five dollars and I'm so excited to read them. I've already started reading Minor Characters by Joyce Johnson and I'm enjoying it a great deal. This is kind of minor but I bought eggs for the first time on Saturday. I don't usually buy eggs because they come in such big packs and I'm scared I won't eat them before they go bad and also I don't like cooking anything that'll make me sick if I do it wrong, but I needed an egg for the box mix I want to make for Halloween so I picked some up. I've been having scrambled eggs and really love it. They're so easy to make... But I was thinking I would like to try making them a different way too. My housemate makes omelets a lot but I don't really have anything to put in an omelet... That's one thing that is disappointing about living in a place with an actual kitchen... I'm only one person and I'm one person who doesn't eat a whole lot, I'm also broke and am sharing a fridge with three other people. Basically what I'm saying is I can only keep so much food at a time... I also can only get to the grocery store once a week which makes things extra difficult. I kind of have to pick one veggie and one fruit for the week and stick to it the whole time which is sad. Do people put zucchini in omelets? That's the veg I usually get since it's super cheap and goes great with everything. I feel like Nomoto from She Loves to Cook, and She Loves to Eat T_T when is it my turn to have a beautiful sapphic romance... AUGH I also got Achtung, Baby by U2 at the thrift store the other day. Yay. I haven't had a chance to listen to it yet (and my only CD player is my PS3 so I def can't play it at 12:30AM LOL). I love CDs. I should make a page for my CD collection when I get a chance. I also wanted to make that page about cooking. I don't really have any wisdom to offer but I can offer my experience with cheap and easy recipes online and if they were actually good lol. Okay I'm tired now. Goodnight :]

September 30th 2025

Today I found out that I still have journal posts up on my old website from when I was in high school. I can't believe I've been doing this for so long. I can't really remember high school very well at all anymore so I'm glad I still have those posts. My first journal entry is an account of the queen's death haha. Delighted by my description of Cas and Dean as "the two Supernatural dudes in the superhell scene" oh how times change. It's kind of funny to read through these and see the ways my speech is exactly the same as it was back then, I really haven't changed much huh, weird since I feel like an entirely different person living an entirely different life. In one of these entries I talk about a manga I bought that I had never heard of before, I wonder if I was talking about Young Ladies Don't Play Fighting Games? That seems most likely to me. This was all the way back in 2022 though so who knows. I found this quote from one of my entries really interesting

"-once i'm finally done with the hellpit we call highschool once and for all. i'm so excited for it to be over -- i feel like i've just become a worse and worse version of myself the more school piles on the pressure. like i kind of feel like i'm regressing to the bitter angry person i was in middle school due to the stress i'm under right now. it's kind of disheartening to feel like the progress i've been making in my worldview is getting washed down the drain but i'll just keep my head up and get back to work on my perception of the world once i'm not so busy that all i can think about is how tired i am."

I don't remember feeling like this at all. I know I wasn't very happy in high school but I don't remember being overwhelmed with work or anything. I don't know if it's sad or not the way these things slip away. This was June of my final year of high school, I wonder what I was working on. I guess I'm just kind of in an endless cycle of trying to be a better kinder person while feeling like stress is making me worse. Hopefully I've made some improvement at least. If anything these entries are reminding myself that things are better now than they were, even if I feel overwhelmed or lonely a lot of the time. The only thing I can really say for certain I miss and isn't tinged with rose-coloured glasses is my friends. I still keep in contact with a handful of people from my hometown, but none of them were people I met in high school. I had some pretty good friends back then and I hope they're doing okay.

Reading this has reminded me of one of my all time favorite assignments from high school! In my comtech class we had a self directed assignment where I chose to create my own magazine cover for a shoujo manga magazine. I wonder if I can dig it up it was so fun to work on. I guess some things never change about me lolol :]

September 23rd 2025

Hi new notebook. I should be working on homework right now. I am very tired though so eh. I wish they would put an extra day tomorrow just for me so I could get caught up on everything I am behind on. I would take an hour too though. Every time I think about Persona 3 I just think about how stupid lucky they all are. You know how many things I would do for just one extra hour in the day? Jesus. I have been watching a lot of Supernatural lately. That is why there is a picture of Castiel in the background lol. Although... I've been so caught up with homework lately that isn't exactly true. I've been spending a lot of time thinking about how much I wish I was watching Supernatural. How's that? I have to get up for an eight AM lab tomorrow which is annoying and sucks. But I guess it's whatever. Although it makes me less inclined to stay up late finishing this assignment I wanted to get done tonight. Ugh. Sorry this is turning into such a complain-fest. I am just very overwhelmed by university all of a sudden lol. You experience The Symptoms for like two days and suddenly your room looks like a pack of angry monkeys came through it and you're behind on twelve assignments. Whatever. September is also just a very busy month for my family which makes getting back into the swing of university very difficult. New Supernatural comic comes out late October. I am very excited. It was supposed to come out like next week but got pushed back a bunch which sucks but hey it's still coming out and is confirmed for at least three issues so I have something to look forward to. Still sad it's happening between S1 and S2 though. I love Jo and Ellen Harvelle BTW. If anyone even cares. Imagine if we got a whole spin-off show about them. It would have been so perfect it could have been set when Ellen and Jo start hunting together and have more of a focus on hunters as a larger community than SPN does (at least as far in as I am lol). I spend all my days thinking to myself "what if SPN was about women" TBH... I want it so bad lol. Anyways, signing off now. Goodnight everyone :]