hiii welcome back to kel yelling into the void. i've mostly just been focusing on college as of late i

basically only have time to read comics in my free time so i haven't done much else. even then, i only read about 60 comics in october. i had been hoping to watch a movie every day of october, but i've just been so busy and i didn't even watch one! i am looking forward to the winter break so badly, this whole university thing is cool but i'm tired of being tired LOL. uhh what else to talk about... i've gotten really into comics stevebucky in the past few days, i am such a sucker for hero/sidekick ships so they kind of hit me like a truck. there's this really funny scene in captain america & bucky (2011) where steve and bucky are on a double date, but the girls they're on the date with look more like they're dating each other than they're dating steve or bucky. alas, comics stevebucky is incredibly unpopular and beyond difficult to find stuff for online. i thought WFA made being a DC fan difficult, but the MCU must be that times a thousand for marvel comics fans, even after excluding all of the movie fandom tags on AO3 and ensuring that i was only searching by "Marvel Comics", almost all of the results were still very clearly based on movie canon (for those unfamiliar: comics bucky and movie bucky are practically different characters with extremely different backstories so it is pretty immediately obvious which canon the author is drawing from). alas, i will just have to make my own. although i will admit that i find the idea somewhat intimidating, i found about as much hate for comics stevebucky as i did posts in favor of it while searching the tags, i will likely post anything people might find objectionable to AO3 under anon to hopefully avoid any drama, but it will all be findable through here or my tumblr blog, it's not like i want to make it completely anonymous, i would just like to minimize the likelihood of recieving negative comments lol. my copies of the first three issues of captain america & bucky will arrive in the mail in a bit over a week, which i am very excited for. yay.

man oh man... back to school time once again. i'm all moved in and classes start very soon so that's fun

i suppose... i really do like college, but i've been hit quite hard by the change. i'm a very lonely sort of person, i don't have many friends, neither in real life or online (although i've been trying to make more... it never really seems to work out for me. i still don't understand how to socialize and form connections all these years in...), so it's quite isolating living alone. i suppose it's not so bad though, i'll feel better when i get the opportunity to visit the library and comic book store. i don't mean to wallow in self pity, that's neither fun nor productive. i've been working on my new character for a ttrpg i'm involved in, it's sad to say goodbye to my old character, but it's okay, he got his happy ending. i'm looking forward to playing a new sort of character. although i find long ttrpg sessions very difficult. my group usually goes for about 4 hours which is way too long for me. i know that's generally on the short end, but i find it extremely draining. i love playing, and my party members and our GM are lovely, but the socializing combined with the sitting still takes far too much out of me. i could maybe do 2 hours without straining myself, but i do my best to make it work.

hello welcome to my new and improved notebook :] entries go from newest to oldest. what to talk about...

i return to college in mere days. it's something i've been looking forward to (alongside the end of my employment) for quite some time now. i enjoy learning a great deal and also appreciate the environment. i have just started reading no man's land and it is quite the undertaking lol. 130 something issues for this one storyline! i would be reading it now, but i'm in a hotel and the internet has decided to completely fail me, it's been out for hours now, so who knows when i'll get to publish this notebook entry anyways. i should use this time to write fan-fiction... hrm. i have so many ideas bouncing around in my head but they're so incoherent OTL. what am i supposed to do with the image of tim fighting crime in the gotham slush? incredibly unhelpful... i suppose i will leave this entry as is and go on to do some writing until my connection is restored and i can continue my reading. hope you are having a good day, whenever this finds you.